☕ a new beginning: reflecting on my internship journey and embracing change

a season of change — again

So… it’s been almost six months since my last update. Sorry about that. 😅
Somehow, I’m already standing in front of another new beginning.

The last six months have been a lot. A lot of work, a lot of responsibility, a lot of learning — and honestly, not nearly enough (warm!) coffee. ☕
I’m about to leave my current workplace, and it feels strangely bittersweet. At some point, I was basically handling crucial parts of the daily work on my own. And for someone “just” doing her practical year, that was a lot of responsibility. Probably more than I should have carried at this stage of my career.
But I survived.
With fewer coffees than expected — mostly because I never actually had time to drink them.

And can we talk about 30-minute lunch breaks for a second?
Because who decided that was enough time to eat, recover from the first half of your shift, drink a hot coffee, and mentally prepare for the rest of the day? As a slow eater, this was basically my personal nightmare.
Most days, I either had to burn my mouth trying to drink my freshly made coffee or leave it in the break room and return to it hours later — cold, sad, and emotionally abandoned.

The shifts themselves were also… intense. Not hospital-level intense, of course, but enough that after long days I had absolutely nothing left in me. Grocery shopping? No. Cooking? Absolutely not. Existing? Barely.

So the biggest thank you goes to my fiancé (and yes, I’m still smiling every time I say that), who somehow kept everything running in the background. He made sure I could come home, shower, eat, and collapse. I genuinely don’t know how I would have survived this first half of my practical year without him. 🤎

What I learned during these months is that shift work is probably not for me — at least not in this form. I struggled with not always working during my most productive hours, and on top of that, life outside of work doesn’t just stop because your schedule is chaotic.
But at work, giving anything less than 100% didn’t really feel like an option. Being tired didn’t count. Being ill didn’t really count either. There was this mindset, especially from some of the older generation, that younger people should just be able to do more. Be more resilient. Have more energy. Give 120%. Always.

And sure, maybe you can do that for a while.
But if you’re constantly overworked, eventually something gives.
So part of me is relieved that these six months are over.
But another part of me is sad to leave.

Because somewhere along the way, I stopped being the new person who didn’t know anything. I became someone people asked for help. Someone who knew the processes. Someone who could handle things. I was good at what I was doing — and that feeling is honestly priceless.

That’s probably the best way to describe the last six months: a rollercoaster. Sometimes even on a daily basis. 😅

Being out of university also showed me something I didn’t expect: I still really love what I studied. I love learning about new findings, new drug approvals, and all the little things that come with this profession. Rediscovering that love for studying was probably one of the best parts of this whole phase. ✨

I just wish I’d had more time and energy to actually study properly. So many days ended with new things I wanted to look up, understand, or write down — but instead, I came home completely drained. And even though that’s okay in hindsight, I hated the feeling of being unprepared. Of learning so much during the day and not having the capacity to process any of it afterward.

And now, here I am.
Less than a week away from starting the second half of my practical year.

A completely new workplace.
A completely different field.
And once again, I’ll be the newbie who has no idea what’s going on.

Yay to new beginnings — but also, I am absolutely terrified.

This next place is different from anything I’ve done and seen before. Which is exciting, because it means new experiences, new skills, and a chance to grow in a field that isn’t always easy to get into.

But also… what the hell will I even be doing there?

I’m probably going to feel lost at first. Maybe very lost. But I’m trying to stay open. I’m trying to manifest a good workplace, kind people, and six peaceful months before the final state exam comes around and I finally — finally — get my license as a pharmacist. 👩🏻‍🔬

For now, I’m taking it step by step. ☁️
One new beginning at a time. ✨
And hopefully, this time, one warm coffee at a time. ☕🤎