a wild exam season, a wedding, and not enough coffee

I’ve been preparing for my last exam of the semester — the final step before I officially enter the battlefield that is state exams. It’s exciting. It’s terrifying. It’s both at once. I mean, I’ve been working toward this moment for over five years, and now that it’s actually here, it feels… unreal.
Cue: emotional rollercoaster, too much coffee, and a couple of minor health crises. Oh, and the first wedding celebration? Already done.

Let’s just say — it’s been a lot. 😅

the exam: overthinking, overcaffeinating, overwhelming

I had months to prepare for this one. It was an oral exam (yay… 🙃) — and even though I usually hate those, I weirdly tend to overprepare for them. Something about not wanting to embarrass myself in front of professors.
What I didn’t plan for:

→ My sister needing a lot more time from me than expected (hello, maid of honour duties)

→ Getting sick. Twice. Back to back. Classic.

So yeah, let’s just say the chill prep phase turned into panic mode real quick.
In the weeks before the exam, I started questioning everything — my preparedness, my brain, and at some point… even my choice of profession. (If you’ve been studying for over five years and haven’t had this moment: are you even human?) Normally, talking to other students helps. But this time, the MVP was my boyfriend.
He stepped up, gave me space to study, comforted me on meltdown days, and made the best coffees ever — like, ever. 🤎 (If you’re reading this: thank you. For everything.)

Studying meant dealing with 15 topics, knowing I’d only be asked one. Was I fully prepared for all 15? Absolutely not. Did I study like I was? Also no.
But somehow… when the exam came, I got one of the topics I dreaded. I panicked, thought about giving up — but then I didn’t. I just started talking. And guess what? I passed. When I left the room, I cried. Not because I failed — but because I didn’t. Because I kept going, even when I wanted to walk out.

And that felt like a win. A very much needed win.

health stuff I did not have time for

In the middle of this madness, my body decided to also fall apart for a bit.

First: food poisoning. Knocked me out for a full week. Then, just when I was getting back on track: bam — intense tooth pain on a Sunday. Surprise! Wisdom tooth inflammation. Swollen cheek, ER visit, upcoming surgery. Yay me.

Obviously, this happened a few days before my exam.
The timing? Impeccable. 🙃
Mental health? Also not great.
Turns out, stress and being physically unwell don’t go well together.
Shocking, I know.
I'm okay now, and the teeth are coming out soon (which also means: no coffee for a few days. I'm not ready. 🥲)

maid of honour madness (part 1 of...many)

Yes, the wedding happened.

Yes, I survived.

No, I didn’t sleep. Or eat. Or breathe, apparently.

The wedding was literally the day after my exam. And yes, I was involved in everything — because the bride (aka my sister) believed her wedding was the only thing that mattered. Not just to her, but to everyone. Especially me.
There were phone calls. Long ones. Emotional ones. Guilt-trippy ones.

"You’re not really there for me."
"I have no family."
Cue internal screaming.

Even though I neglected my schedule, did everything I could, and ran around like a lunatic… it was somehow still not enough.

But hey — the day came.
We got up at 4 AM (yes, that’s a real number), got ourselves ready, helped the bride get ready, prepped the locations, ran around like caffeine-deprived wedding planers, and made sure the couple didn’t have to lift a finger.

Success.

Did I eat that day? No.

Did I have coffee? Also no.

Would I recommend this strategy? Absolutely not.

I slept 20 hours afterward. Lesson learned.

what’s next: state exams, more weddings and actual boundaries

Next stop: the state exam. 🎓

But before that — two more wedding ceremonies to survive and a whole new round of prep.
The difference?
This time, I’m learning to set boundaries. Just because someone expects something from me doesn’t mean I have to say yes. My health, my time, and my sanity matter too. I’ll still be there for the people I love. But I’ll also be there for myself.

And if you’re in the middle of your own chaotic chapter:
Just breathe. Celebrate the small wins. You don’t have to have it all together. You’re doing better than you think.

☕ Thanks for reading —
and yes, I’ll be having that coffee now. Finally.